Brother Richard wrote up a great summary of what he covered in his presentation and it’s included here below for everyone’s benefit:



In brief, the discussion will centre on the problem that most guys face as a result of getting little or no
sound teaching in the area of courtship skills and the maintenance of a healthy opposite sex relationship.

For Christian guys particularly, there is the matter of Scripture being mostly silent on this topic.

This is largely because in Bible times, marriages were generally arranged to one extent or another and did not
require guys to develop effective relationship skills and instincts.

In today’s world, most guys get their relationship education from TV, the movies and each other. In general,
the fallout is pretty bad.

This is because the media aims to entertain rather than educate. Consequently, the message preached there has
little or no relationship to reality.

For the most part, guys who try to learn relationship skills from their friends, are in the situation of the
blind leading the blind.

This because in western societies, there is no tradition of sound mentoring in the area of relationship ability
for males.

The consequences of a guy finding himself unable to attract and form a healthy intimate relationship with a
desirable member of the opposite sex, can be extremely toxic.

Even worse sometimes, are the consequences for a guy who enters into an intimate relationship with the wrong




1. There are seriously negative consequences for guys who do not develop effective relationship skills, while
at the same time, western societies do not have a tradition which teaches them.


2. Just as there are courtship and mating rituals in the animal kingdom, there is a dance of the human male
and female that guys in particular need to understand, if they are not to seriously compromise their chances
of relationship success.


3. Popular culture as well as church culture, teach a variety of relationship myths that have no relationship
to reality, such as:

(a) Females are attracted to guys who are in touch with their ‘feminine’ side.
(b) Females are attracted to ‘bad’ boys and have a distaste for ‘nice guys’.
(c) The critical qualities for relationship success are related to personal qualities such as honesty,
integrity and  courtesy (all good things in themselves, but are they sufficient for relationship success?).
(d) Guys need to court females by being mindful of their every need and by making sure that they do everything
they can to look after them, protect them and respect their feelings.


4. Popular culture as well as church culture, virtually ignore the actual critical factors that guys need to
understand if they are to be successful in the area of intimate relationships  which include:

(a) Mental and emotional strength greater than that of the female
(b) Leadership ability in relationship development
(c) Having a life and ambition of their own that does not require the approval of the female
(d) Relaxed, but strong sexuality that is bridled, disciplined, but nevertheless powerful
(e) Willingness to learn the dance of the male and female and be good at it, as opposed to
ignoring it or thinking that it does not apply to them


5. Any guy who wants to learn the dance of the male and female can do so.

Like anything worthwhile, if you are not a natural, it does require effort, a willingness to take
calculated risks and persistence to see it through.